Hey guys (: How are you ? I'm writing this just to share my story to all of ya . As you know I'm seventeen this year . Will face the SPM by the end of this year . You know what ? I still couldn't believe that me , the little girl will face the greatest challenge in her life less that a year . It's too scary and I'm scared to the death . I'm scared of the 360 degree changes that happened with my life now .

I still assumed that I'm a five years old girl that never satisfied with her childhood life . She still want more . I still want more . Sometimes I feel like I wanna cut myself off but I know what Allah have done to me , will be a good thing to me in future . And cut yourself won't solve anything . You know what I did to make myself stronger ? 

Put Allah as number 1 in your heart . Then , your parents . Don't you ever think what will happen to their smiles if you cut yourself off ? That's why they are my soursec of strength . Allah gives our parents to us . Love them . Give them all of your love . Give em . I simply remember when I was child , they used to spent a lot for me . Till I got to the primary school . I got 5A's in UPSR . They were happy . But I still thought that it wasn't enoguh to make em proud . 

I worked hard on PMR . I got 9A's . But I still didn't satisfied . Now , I will face the SPM . It is so worst right now cuz I've lost the feeling of believe to myself . I feel like I could not make em happy . Proud . I just don't want to make em dissapointed . I've lost in this life . I don't know how to get my old life back . I feel like something disappeared . I feel null . I feel nothing about my life and my teenager years .

I could not be as happy as the others did . Yes I did happy but I could not be as happy as em . I just think these 360 changes has ruined my life a lot . I just let myself fall . I don't know how to get up . I need someone to guide me . O Allah .. Help me . Guide me .

Friend . I just need friend to be shared of my problems . Yes I don't have much big problems as Barack Obama's did have , but it still be as a huge burden on my back . I could not stand without Allah and my friends . Dear friend , don't you know how I need you right now ? Please be with me and guide me through this challenging life .

Please ..... These changes ... How I hate it .. I hate my life :( ...