Side Kick

God speaks in the silence of the heart. Listening is the beginning of the prayer. So, don't you ever give up. When you feel down and your world is crumbling, remember that you still have God above. Always remember and ask to HIM because HE listens to every prayers you made.
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28 March 2015 9:50 am 1 Directioner(s)

* no Zayn anymore :( *

hi everyone , its berry here :) oh my god it has been a while since I write something here . i kinda miss writing in here but there were a lot of things going on in my mind lately , also with the new things going on in my life . so basically i just got my result . the spm result which was a couple weeks ago and i just dont know what should i feel like . it wasnt worst but wasnt better too . guess it was just standing in the middle just like that xD

so . where do i belong after this ? as you all might know , the ipg's result has been out yesterday and guess what ? i didnt get through it because .. because yeah you know the qualification . but i didnt sad yet so happy . i just didnt know what i have to feel like . maybe the god above wants me to just study more and more , learning what i should learn . as you all know my deep passion in english . alhamdulillah it didnt die yet . in sha Allah never because english is one of the parts of my life and it is just damn hard to get rid of it from my life .

what happened to berry ? nothings interesting happened except now im working part time . just wanted some savings for myself beside doing nothing at home . my writings now seem damn plain and i just dont know why . but im still active on wattpad , writing stories . i think im not going to be active more on twitter because i couldnt stand hearing watching looking at those damn fooking rumors about the boys . haha . guess i shouldnt be laughing right now because basically my life is a little bit trash with a little problems and etc .

writing this while hearing to little things and it made me wanna cerayyy :( but from what i have learnt from the past few years , there will always be a rainbow after the rain . you know , you get to smell the petrichor after the rain and it is damn amazing . you know what , i have that feeling . that feeling when you are sad but you have no idea why . you feel so fucking empty , but nothing in particular happened . they ask you whats wrong , but you cant even explain . or they dont even ask anything , i dont know which one is worse . it just feels like i miss someone i never met . its hurting myself inside and out .

the feeling of loneliness hovers over me , takes control over me . i dont even care . i isolate myself on purpose . sadness becomes my only and only friend . i know i have others but i just cant bother em anymore you know . when im sad or feeling damn down , it takes everything in me to just keep my mouth shut and not telling anyone about it . i start hating myself . i mean the bad parts of mine and i want everyone to just leave me alone . at the same time , i want someone to hug me and to tell me that everythings gona be okay . everythings gona be alright . i simply hate that feeling . that feeling when you you dont even know what the fuck you are feeling .

this kinda anxiety happens when im alone and feel unwanted . i know that i will always have my parents and my friends but till when i should depend on em ? they are just human . weak . damn weak . so this was when i figure it all out . at the end , you will just have the God with you . just HIM . no one else .

so , just keep your faith in HIM and just pray for the best . May Allah ease everything for you and me , so that everythings bad happened will just turn out to be a rainbow one day . a rainbow that could make you feel slight happy and euphoric . and just smile . trust me . there's a rainbow after the rain xx

  • Thank you for visiting -Finn :) x
  • Blogger Hidayah Suhailee said...

    no more zayn.. :'( it was quiet hurt me. ecehhh.. sebab dlm !d yaya paling minat dgn zayn.. hmmm..


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